Things have never been easy for me, I always have had to fight for things, I never expected to be handed something just because I wanted them, however, sometimes I think I deserved a little break. This became the story of my life for all of 39 years that I have been on this earth. To give you a background story of my life in the short version, my dad left me and my mom when I was a year old, she remarried years later to my stepfather who abused my mom, molested me and my sister. I had a nervous breakdown at 17 my senior year in high school, my thought was to commit suicide but all I wanted to do was be helped and rid of the bad memories. It was not until after years of intense therapy that I began to feel normal. I then figured I could face anything after that, nothing or no one could scare me. Sure I went through normal things that young ladies in their 20's endure, having no clue, thinking I was more mature than most adults, but it was not until I got diagnosed with breast cancer that I felt I finally matured. This was my chance to be in control, fight back, to make my own decisions about how to treat this cancer, I had options and no one was going to tell me otherwise. I did my research scary as it was to go through this process made me a stronger person. Some would probably tell you I already was, I just handled things the best I knew how and lived by 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'
So in retrospect getting diagnosed was sort of a gift, it was mine and I was going to own it! When I say cancer didn't win, those are not just words, it really didn't, it showed up and I kicked it's ass right out the door! Getting married at 33 was hands down the ultimate day of my life and divorcing my boobs at 38 was the best day of my life! I turn 40 this year and frankly, I cannot wait for the next chapter of my life!
When I was younger I used to think that things would be easier when you got older, turns out not so much and sometimes it's more complicated when your older. Such as my relationships with people, they are more stronger than ever, I have reunited with many old friends and it's a blessing to have them in my life again. Some people I have departed with but it's ok, because I know that they were in my life for a purpose.
My marriage is stronger, I fall more and more in love with my husband each day. For him to stand by me like he did, makes him more of my Prince Charming then ever! The one thing he did not like was that I wrote about him not picking me up at the hospital the day after surgery. He said to advise everyone "I was running on two hours of sleep, I was tired!" So there his explanation folks, no worries he's off the hook, I have forgiven him, in fact I did that day!
This blog has helped me move forward believe it or not. I am able to tell my story, possibily help people going through a similar situation or know someone. I have been able to move forward and not be so scared anymore. If I have not said it before, I will say it again thank you to those who are following this blog, I hope I have helped you or someone you know in some small way.
Tomorrow: The latest breast cancer news and products I have grown to love!
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