In Summary, sort of

My intention today was to wrap up my blog however, my friend, Fred pointed out something to me. He asked me why I jumped from having the surgery to getting the implants where was the in between? I advised him that I was on vacation from doctor's visits and such. So today, I thought I'd fill in some blanks for you.

During the down time that I had I just wanted to enjoy life and not think about doctor's appointments, surgeries and all I had been through. My main focus for a year and a half was my boobs, all I did was think about boobs! I began to think I was a pervert. Then I remembered an episode of Absolutely Fabulous, where Edina says to Patsy "remember that week I spent celebrating my private parts?" With that I thought this past year I was celebrating my private parts, well sort of, but you get my drift.

I became more aware of my body, I educated myself on what factors can cause breast cancer. I am eating more healthier, sure I have my cheat days but doesn't everyone love a little chocolate now and again? Trips to Whole Foods have become more frequent, I think they know me by first name and it doesn't hurt that my husband's cousin works there, discount! I don't let things bother me as I did before, I brush it off and life goes on.

There have been times when people ask me how I am feeling with a sympathy look or speak loudly to me, as though breast cancer made me deaf. It can be annoying at times but I know they mean well.

It seemed that everyone I told, someone knew someone who had breast cancer. It was like that commercial in the 70's for hair shampoo 'and they told two friends and so and so on'. I found out my neighbor had breast cancer she was a 7 year survivor, she told me she kept her breasts because it was her choice. Just like it was my choice to remove mine a decision I will never regret. Last year I had a gynecology appointment and found that my doctor had the same cancer I did and has the same gummy implants as I do. I saw Christina Applegate on television she was discussing how she had breast cancer, actually she had the same as I did and went through the same surgery. When you find out anyone has had it or has it, there is a sort of a mutual understanding that no one else can relate to unless they have been there. Funny fact I also found out was that men can get breast cancer too and young girls are getting diagnosed as early as 18.

I get told it took courage with what I did, but not sure how so when I hated my boobs to begin with and getting rid of them was a no brainer. My courage comes from those who have had this disease at a much higher stage then I did and fought it. My courage comes from those who succumbed to the disease but fought it with everything that had. My cancer didn't win, I won, I chose to do something about it so I guess if that gives me courage ok then I'll take the compliment.

I see people everyday who live with other diseases knowing that what they have could kill them, I draw my courage from them in fact they are my inspiration. I get asked if I fear it will come back. Of course I do but doing what I did made it a 6% chance of never coming back. I do get scared but I try not to dwell on it, because as we all know life is too short.