'Cancer, the other 'C' word.

When you hear the word cancer many things come to mind it's sort of like the uninvited drunk cousin who shows up at your wedding. According to the National Cancer Institute cancer is defined as "Cancer is a term used for diseases in which abnormal cells divide without control and are able to invade other tissues. Cancer cells can spread to other parts of the body through the blood and lymph systems.

Cancer is not just one disease but many diseases. There are more than 100 different types of cancer. Most cancers are named for the organ or type of cell in which they start - for example, cancer that begins in the colon is called colon cancer; cancer that begins in basal cells of the skin is called basal cell carcinoma."

Nowadays cancer does not mean death, there are so many innovative clinical trials and treatments out there it's amazing what doctors can do now. There are not only the traditional medicines but there are great holistic treatments as well. Also it is good to know your family history of cancer, there is not only the BRACAnalysis test but a gene test that you can take it's important to know everything you can. Do you know that cancer deaths decreased 1.6 percent per year from 2001 to 2006 and are decreasing every year! Meaning mortality rate is going down because researchers are beginning to understand more and more on how to fight this disease.

I was lucky enough not to have to go through chemotherapy and radiation but I know many people who have gone through it. Some yes have not been so lucky, but not because of the treatment but because of their stage of cancer. However, the lucky ones have out weighed the unlucky. When you lose your hair from chemo, yes it's awful, embarrassing and not attractive. As one person I know said, I saved a ton of money on not going to the beauty salon paying for an overpriced haircut.

As my doctors told me we really don't know 'what causes cancer', we know how to fight it with treatment. Now that being said, some say there are links to smoking, drinking alcohol and caffeine. While all of these habits are really not good for you anyway, it's probably best to eliminate them so you can begin the process of living a healthy life. In recent studies there were links to soy preventing breast cancer, while this is not concrete nor should you go out and buy every soy product you can find, it is hopeful.

Understanding how cancer works and operates will make you feel at ease once you know the facts. Once the fear sets in, the anger comes along and it is important to take that anger and channel it into knowing all you can about how to fight. Fighters always win, I'm a fighter and I won.


Here are some links which I have found useful.

http://www.breastcancer.org/

http://ww5.komen.org/

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/default.aspx

http://curezone.com/diseases/cancer/cancercured.asp

http://www.bracnow.com/

The Minor Surgeries

After having the big surgery one might think that the minor ones were no big deal or did not hurt as much. Unfortunately, I wish I could say that was true. When I had my gummy implants in, I was understandably sore but having asymmetry of the nipples done has hurt. I was talking to the nurse as to why, she couldn't explain it, my guess is because the skin is being stretched in the opposite direction. After having two done, my arms and body feel like they have been moved in directions they are not supposed to be moved. Thank goodness for Vicodin though, I will tell you the pain killers help immensely! It is not enough that I cannot even have a drink to take the pain away but to sit feeling like I just did an episode of the Amazing Race is not fun. Thankfully this was my last one I am not sure I could take much more physically and mentally. I do not mean to be a downer or scare anyone I am just telling the truth. If anyone had told me this was how I was going to feel before hand, I would have been better prepared. This past surgery I went through 5 liters of ginger ale and 5 packages of ramen noodles. Now I am sure some of you are shaking your heads going ramen noodles why? Well it seems to be the only thing I hold down after I have surgery, why I do not know. Sure I know it's salty and not good for you, but it's the only food I can stomach after surgery. Plus the Vernors ginger ale rocks, my husband had to cut me off after going through 5 liters in two days. I had to explain it was the probably the only beverage that made my stomach feel better. Then I advised him that if he should try going through this and let's see how he feels! That didn't go over to well, but he understood my point of view.

Now I have to wait 3 weeks before doing any strenuous activity which stinks on all levels because now I have to leave the housework up to my husband. Do not get me wrong my husband has been a tremendous support and help. I could not have asked for a better husband, he rocks! It's just we all know how men panic when they have more than one thing to do!

So now that I have no more surgeries left, hopefully well that's what I told my surgeon, I begin to worry about other things in my life. I'm a fighter and fighter's win.

Until next time!

The Elephant in The Room-S-E-X

One of the reasons I was put on tamoxifen was to ensure that the cancer would not come back. The medication puts your body in menopause which means you get most of the symptoms, irregular periods, decreased fertility, vaginal dryness, hot flashes, sleep disturbances and mood swings. The one thing it does do is decrease your sex drive. This can be an emotional issue for some woman and some it's not all. The subject can be about as comfortable as men discussing erectile dysfunction. For those that it is, there are products that you can use to help you. Such as KY Jelly . The brand has a wide variety of products that suit your needs, it's just a matter of choosing what works for you and what you are most comfortable with using. I have heard from many men that their wives just don't feel sexy after having a double mastectomy. This is very true, who does when you have drains hanging from either side of you and your clothing options are limited. One of things you can do is buy a loose sexy lingerie night gown. It can cover up all the unwanted areas and possibly get you feeling better again. If you don't like wearing lingerie, put on one of your husband's t-shirts, men always find it sexy when we put on their clothes. The same goes for those in a same-sex relationship. My husband did not force the issue, we took it slow and I was happy that we went that route. Don't be upset if nothing happens the first time, it's not you, it's the medication. Keep trying and don't give up. We still are women regardless of what parts we do or do not have. As my mom always said it's important with what's on the inside rather than the out.

Currently, I am recovering from having asymmetry of my nipples. So I do apologize for this being short. I will resume regular blogging this weekend.

Losing My Breasts-Not A Big Deal

As I said before, I never liked my previous breasts they were lopsided and not very attractive. In fact, they were like old lady boobies, probably old ladies have better ones than mine. That being said I was not really upset when I had them removed. I knew that I was getting rid of something that just was not working for me. There are women though who do like and are attached to their breasts that is understandable, however, why keep something that just keeps giving you problems. I know that some women would not for religious reasons. I probably could have kept mine, but I would have had to get a mammogram every 3 months, had to have procedures that would have racked up my insurance to the sky. If you think about it, it's just skin and tissue. I might be more upset if I had to get rid of an arm or a leg. All of my doctors told me they would have done the same thing I did if they were in my position. I was doing myself a favor so that I would not have problems later on in life. No it did not solve all health issues but it put me ahead of the game.


I remember reading a booklet when I decided to have a double mastectomy and it said most of the women who have a mastectomy, want to see something when it is all said and done. I get that, however, breasts do not define a woman and they do not define you as a person. I am still me, my character did not change, nothing changed except my physical appearance which to me I have never looked better in my opinion. It's funny how as a society we have become so fixated on our looks. There are so many products out there such as teeth whiteners, serums, creams that cost thousands of dollars and all for what so we can feel better? Take Heidi Spencer, the girl is in her 20's, she has had so much plastic surgery her own family does not recognize her. In my opinion, she has aged herself about 10 years. As for those of us who have plastic surgery because we had a health issue, we have an opportunity to make our appearance better. Look at people who do botox, I cannot not imagine wanting botox because I have wrinkles, who cares, so you have wrinkles does not make you ugly, it gives you character and alot of the time look worse after having botox.

When it came time to getting rid of my breasts because they had found cancer in the left and calcifications in my right, I decided to nip the issue in the bud. Calcifications in your breast are very small bits of calcium can appear within the soft tissue of your breast. Calcifications are not breast cancer. These aren't always a sign of breast cancer. Sometimes calcifications are an indication of a precancerous condition. They appear as white dots on your mammogram. I realize some people might say why then did you get rid of yours? Answer, I was not going to stand around and watch my doctors poke me every other week and 'wait' for the cancer to show up. Due the fact that I was considered high risk I did not want to give cancer any opportunity to expand itself.

Since having breast reconstruction, my clothes fit better, I do not have to wear a bra and the best part is when I am 80 I will have perky breasts! Unlike my friends who will be saggy maggies, I am perfectly proportioned.

I do not believe you should have breast reconstruction just because, that's just dumb. If you have been diagnosed, my advice is to speak to your doctors who will provide with you the latest information on plastic surgery. Remember you can replace most of your body parts, you can live a normal life without the original parts, but you cannot replace you.

Knowledge is Power

Being treated at The Cleveland Clinic has it's perks and advantages. Seeing as it's been rated No. 1 in Ohio for cancer treatment that made it all the more comfortable for me. I was given information on the latest clinical trials concerning treatment of breast cancer, books that answered all my questions about cancer, they listened when I had found out something be it on the news or newspaper and even would check it out for themselves.

I know that everyone has heard this, however, I cannot stress that prevention and early detection is your best defense against breast cancer and any other cancer for that matter. Doctors are able to do something about and give you the tools you need so that the chances of anything coming back are slim. Obviously nothing in life is guarenteed, but with knowledge comes power.

As we have heard in recent months, U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) Recommendations on Breast Screening (Scientific Advisory Board, November 2009) which were completely blasted by the Susan G. Komen Foundation and just about every physician in the US. It is necessary that every woman get a mammogram after the age of 35. I am seeing now that even young woman are getting diagnosed with breast cancer as earlier as the age of 18, which is rare yes, however, it does not hurt to speak to your doctor about your risks and when you should get tested.

The Cleveland Clinic offers these general guidelines for getting screened.


Breast Cancer Screening Guidelines Overview

"The lifetime risk (to age 85) of a woman developing breast cancer in 1940 was 5% or 1in 20; the risk is now 12.6% or 1 in 8. In women 40-49 years of age there is a 1 in 66 risk of developing breast cancer compared with a 1 in 40 risk among women in the 50-59 year age group.

Randomized controlled trials have demonstrated reduced mortality rates (20-40%) from breast cancer among women invited to undergo screening mammography compared with control groups.

Although statistically significant benefits/reductions in breast cancer mortality are delayed 10 to 15 years among women 40-49 years of age at the time of screening, several of the screening trials have reported a benefit (23-44%) from screening women 40-49 years of age.

The benefit of mammography is related to early detection. Regardless of the histological grade of a tumor, a greater than 90% ten year survival has been reported in 40-74 year old women diagnosed with tumors that are 10 mm or smaller in size.

The effectiveness of any screening program will depend on screening frequency, compliance with screening recommendations and the quality of the screening test.

In establishing screening frequencies, breast cancer growth rates need to be considered. The sojourn time (average time for mammographically detectable, preclinical cancers to become clinically apparent) for all breast cancer types is shorter for pre-menopausal women compared with post-menopausal women supporting annual screening in 40-49 year old women: 1.8 years in 40-49 year old women and 3.5 years in women 50 years of age or older.

Women should perform a monthly breast self-examination starting at age 20."



There is a lot of news out there and a lot of misguided information as well. My suggestion is that you stick with the mainstream sites, such as the Susan G. Komen, American Cancer Society and your local hospital.

Next week I am having another procedure done, so the blog will be only be done for a few days, as the rest of the week I will be recovering. This procedure is part of the process of having breast reconstruction which I will explain next week. Until then, remember knowledge is your best defense against breast cancer and anything else in life!!!

Products I have grown to love!

When your diagnosed with any disease or condition, it may become necessary to change the daily products you use daily, such as beauty products ranging from hair to skincare and even your makeup. I noticed that when I started taking tamoxifen within a month I noticed my skin started turning red every time I used the cleanser and creams I was using. So I turned to organic products. Now some might shake their heads that these are not as effective as your non-organic products. Not so, in fact they are even better. I did my research and for me I found that Burt's Bees was the best for me. I already used their beeswax lip balm, in fact there is not a floor in my house or handbag that does not have a Burts Beeswax Lip Balm in it. My husband used to laugh at me, but now I have him hooked on it.

Since I have dry skin, I bought the Burt's Bees Cream Cleanser which has chamomile and echinacea to calm the skin. This has been my life saver with taking off my makeup or just using it alone! My skin feels refreshed and soft every time I wash my face. I follow it up with the Peach and Willow Bark Deep Pore Scrub using it only 2 times a week. I would like to try the Citrus Facial Scrub but Target never seems to have it in stock. I then use the Rosewater and Glycerin Toner which feels oh so good, that sometimes I want to pore it all over myself! I then use the Radiance Serum which is royal jelly based, only three drops required, trust me that is more than enough! After the serum, I apply the Radiance Eye Cream which diminishes my under eye wrinkles and dark circles. For morning I use the Radiance Day Cream and the Radiance Night Cream at night. My skin has never looked better, sure I get acne now and again but who doesn't get a pimple?

For my hair, yes even my hair seemed to be dryer after being on tamoxifen. I began reading about shampoos and conditions that contained Sodium lauryl sulfate and/or Sodium laureth sulfate which can dry out your hair even further and make your haircolor fade if you color it even faster. So I turned to an old favorite of mine, called MOP (Modern Organic Products) and Loreal Sulfate-Free Haircare. Since I decided to change to these products my hair has never looked better, it's shinier, healthier and lays so much better I barely have to do much to it.

As for my body lotion, I do use Aveeno Body Lotion. It is oatmeal based makes my dry skin feel baby soft. My husband even uses it and will no longer use anything else!

For my deodorant, yes deodorant, since I had my left lymph nodes removed, my implants and being on tamoxifen which puts your body into menopause, I sweat more! So I use Secret Clinical Deodorant and Dove Clinical which I think the Dove is much better smelling. I have also tried a deodorant I found at GNC where I get my Multi-Vitamins and although it is chemical free, it does not appear to work as well as the others. Now a friend who had a much higher stage of cancer than I, swears by Tom's Cucumber Deodorant which I have yet to try.

As for my nailcare, I really do not do much to them but file them. Only because they break easy and I type 8 hours a day for living, so to have to worry about polish, etc.. I do not.

Tomorrow: The Latest Breast Cancer News

Why I'm a Fighter

Things have never been easy for me, I always have had to fight for things, I never expected to be handed something just because I wanted them, however, sometimes I think I deserved a little break. This became the story of my life for all of 39 years that I have been on this earth. To give you a background story of my life in the short version, my dad left me and my mom when I was a year old, she remarried years later to my stepfather who abused my mom, molested me and my sister. I had a nervous breakdown at 17 my senior year in high school, my thought was to commit suicide but all I wanted to do was be helped and rid of the bad memories. It was not until after years of intense therapy that I began to feel normal. I then figured I could face anything after that, nothing or no one could scare me. Sure I went through normal things that young ladies in their 20's endure, having no clue, thinking I was more mature than most adults, but it was not until I got diagnosed with breast cancer that I felt I finally matured. This was my chance to be in control, fight back, to make my own decisions about how to treat this cancer, I had options and no one was going to tell me otherwise. I did my research scary as it was to go through this process made me a stronger person. Some would probably tell you I already was, I just handled things the best I knew how and lived by 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'

So in retrospect getting diagnosed was sort of a gift, it was mine and I was going to own it! When I say cancer didn't win, those are not just words, it really didn't, it showed up and I kicked it's ass right out the door! Getting married at 33 was hands down the ultimate day of my life and divorcing my boobs at 38 was the best day of my life! I turn 40 this year and frankly, I cannot wait for the next chapter of my life!

When I was younger I used to think that things would be easier when you got older, turns out not so much and sometimes it's more complicated when your older. Such as my relationships with people, they are more stronger than ever, I have reunited with many old friends and it's a blessing to have them in my life again. Some people I have departed with but it's ok, because I know that they were in my life for a purpose.

My marriage is stronger, I fall more and more in love with my husband each day. For him to stand by me like he did, makes him more of my Prince Charming then ever! The one thing he did not like was that I wrote about him not picking me up at the hospital the day after surgery. He said to advise everyone "I was running on two hours of sleep, I was tired!" So there his explanation folks, no worries he's off the hook, I have forgiven him, in fact I did that day!

This blog has helped me move forward believe it or not. I am able to tell my story, possibily help people going through a similar situation or know someone. I have been able to move forward and not be so scared anymore. If I have not said it before, I will say it again thank you to those who are following this blog, I hope I have helped you or someone you know in some small way.

Tomorrow: The latest breast cancer news and products I have grown to love!

In Summary, sort of

My intention today was to wrap up my blog however, my friend, Fred pointed out something to me. He asked me why I jumped from having the surgery to getting the implants where was the in between? I advised him that I was on vacation from doctor's visits and such. So today, I thought I'd fill in some blanks for you.

During the down time that I had I just wanted to enjoy life and not think about doctor's appointments, surgeries and all I had been through. My main focus for a year and a half was my boobs, all I did was think about boobs! I began to think I was a pervert. Then I remembered an episode of Absolutely Fabulous, where Edina says to Patsy "remember that week I spent celebrating my private parts?" With that I thought this past year I was celebrating my private parts, well sort of, but you get my drift.

I became more aware of my body, I educated myself on what factors can cause breast cancer. I am eating more healthier, sure I have my cheat days but doesn't everyone love a little chocolate now and again? Trips to Whole Foods have become more frequent, I think they know me by first name and it doesn't hurt that my husband's cousin works there, discount! I don't let things bother me as I did before, I brush it off and life goes on.

There have been times when people ask me how I am feeling with a sympathy look or speak loudly to me, as though breast cancer made me deaf. It can be annoying at times but I know they mean well.

It seemed that everyone I told, someone knew someone who had breast cancer. It was like that commercial in the 70's for hair shampoo 'and they told two friends and so and so on'. I found out my neighbor had breast cancer she was a 7 year survivor, she told me she kept her breasts because it was her choice. Just like it was my choice to remove mine a decision I will never regret. Last year I had a gynecology appointment and found that my doctor had the same cancer I did and has the same gummy implants as I do. I saw Christina Applegate on television she was discussing how she had breast cancer, actually she had the same as I did and went through the same surgery. When you find out anyone has had it or has it, there is a sort of a mutual understanding that no one else can relate to unless they have been there. Funny fact I also found out was that men can get breast cancer too and young girls are getting diagnosed as early as 18.

I get told it took courage with what I did, but not sure how so when I hated my boobs to begin with and getting rid of them was a no brainer. My courage comes from those who have had this disease at a much higher stage then I did and fought it. My courage comes from those who succumbed to the disease but fought it with everything that had. My cancer didn't win, I won, I chose to do something about it so I guess if that gives me courage ok then I'll take the compliment.

I see people everyday who live with other diseases knowing that what they have could kill them, I draw my courage from them in fact they are my inspiration. I get asked if I fear it will come back. Of course I do but doing what I did made it a 6% chance of never coming back. I do get scared but I try not to dwell on it, because as we all know life is too short.

Pointing East-N-West

A compass points North, South, East and West. This was the case with my new implants, well not the implants themselves my nipples. The surgeons were able to save my nipples which is great for anyone who has been through this procedure. Otherwise there is the option of having them tattooed on. Whenever you get some sort of plastic surgery there is always tweaking to do. Once the skin is relaxed things tend to not be straight. Mine were pointing East-N-West almost under my arm pits. I was thankful I was not planning on visiting a nude beach anytime soon or I'd get asked to keep my shirt on.


The procedure was relatively simple, however they could only move them so far because again once the skin relaxes they move back. So as my plastic surgeon said 'we don't want to be too greedy.' I am due for another procedure soon.

Today's blog is a short one because at present I am awaiting another procedure, still take my medications and loving life.


Tomorrow: In Summary

Klebrige Bären (Gummy Bears)

First and foremost, I am not German nor do I speak it, but I did look up the German translation of gummy bears just so you know. I eagerly awaited the day to get my new gummy bear implants or also known as Natrelle 410 - Mentor CPG Cohesive Silicone Gel. Basically they are solid silicone, they are not filled with any liquid and the chances of them leaking are impossible because they again they are solid silicone gel.

Since these implants are only used by four (4) hospitals in the United States, the Cleveland Clinic one of them, I was put it what they call a 'clinical trial'. Meaning that I had to meet with a spokes person who worked for the clinic but was knowledgeable and trained in the companies clinical trial through the clinic. In order to proceed you need to fill out paper work. The paper work is really involved in terms of the emotional side to getting implants both physically and mentally. They ask you questions about your relationships with your friends and your spouse. There are no commitments of course, you can back out at any time, however, you may want to let your physician know before you have the procedure done. Completing the paperwork for me was emotional, because it was as though they were asking me everything I had in my head but never said out loud or put down on paper. Like 'will you feel better about your appearance once you have your implants?', 'will feel sexier to your spouse and want to be more intimate', etc. I answered them honestly and then cried again.

My tears quickly were dry when I heard that I was going to be paid for this clinical trial. It's not much but getting that 'boobie' check as I call it helps when your short on cash. I figured I wanted to be one of many at the Cleveland Clinic to do this, that way if there was ever a time where someone wanted my opinion regarding the implants, I could give it to them honestly.

There are times when hospitals just have such perfect timing and other times when their timing stinks. My surgery was scheduled 5 days before my 39th birthday. I wanted to of course celebrate my birthday in some fashion or another but what, I had not thought it out. I figured that maybe just meeting up with friends was a good idea and eating dinner was the way to go. So the day came to get my gummy bear implants in, I was happy because the expanders were really uncomfortable. At times I had a pinching feeling and going for fillings was just getting old really fast.

In order for the doctor to make sure everything is straight, he drew on me with his purple marker, very typical in hospitals, as though he was mapping out his quest. A quest for breasts as I called it. My sense of humor is warped, I know. So one minute of course I was chit chatting and the next I do not remember. The surgery took 2 hours long and I was home by the afternoon. The next day however, I was really sore in fact the next few days I was sore, but pain killers were my best friend.

The disappointment came when I looked down and saw that my nipples were crooked. This gets fixed later on, in light of the fact that naturally the skin must relax and return to it's natural state as it has been pulled in all sorts of directions. I was happy all in all with the results, I felt more confident, I was able to fit in clothing better and the best part, NO BRA! Yes that I was said, I do not have to wear a bra. I wear a tank top under my tops and dresses or I wear nipple covers. It helps and saves me money on those bras that cost $32.00 and over. Since I told my girlfriends I no longer have to wear a bra, I get called all sorts of various names the best one I like is, bitch. I get the look and then get called a bitch while at the same time they are jealous of me. I always say, well I would not have gotten this way if I didn't have cancer remember!

I got to celebrate my 39th birthday with some friends for dinner and it was great to be sort of free of all this boob and cancer talk after the past year. The night was great, unfortunately I no longer speak to some of the people that were there, but I will always be grateful for the time they were in my life, it really helped me get through this process.

Tomorrow: Pointing East-N-West

What's that sticking out?

In every surgery there is always the possibility of set backs, infections and sometimes having to go back in a redo work. I had my drains taken out, which made a really loud noise when they were being removed, sort of like a squeaky mouse. I was happy because walking around with drains on is not sexy nor is it fun when trying to wear clothing. One of the items you must wear with drains is a surgical bra that is more like a parachute bra if there is such a thing. Everything you wear is uncomfortable, the best thing to wear is loose clothing or borrow your husband's t-shirts. I had endless doctor's appointments with the plastic surgeon. One particular visit became some a nightmare. I had noticed a sort of hole or marking on my left side of my expander. Now granted I still had scarring that needed to heal but this particular spot did not look right. After further examination, it was determined that I could try this 'silver cream' as they called it, a whole tub for $40.00! The cream I was told was good for burns, healing scars and cuts. So I could use it even after all this was over, sort of like a bride's maids dress that you can wear again and again. Although I am not sure anyone has ever wore a bride's maids dress over and over again.

Unfortunately, the cream did not close the hole. So my plastic surgeon was going to perform a tailoring if you will right there in the room until he noticed that the hole was getting bigger and determined I was going to have to have my expander replaced. This obviously did not sit well with me or my husband. I had already had enough time in the operating room, it was not a place I wanted to go back to. There was no options or I would most likely risk an infection.

In order to make myself feel better, I questioned my plastic surgeon with the help of my husband regarding how this could be prevented and why it happened. I then called my breast surgeon to sort of 'tell on my plastic surgeon'. Venting helped me but still I did not want to have another surgery.

The day came, I was annoyed at every question I was asked, rolling my eyes at times and nurses asking me what's wrong. So of course I had to tell them the entire story. Please do not misunderstand, my plastic surgeon is very good, it's just I was pissed that the hole did not close up and I was made it was not caught.

I woke up a few hours later in the recovery room, only this time it was the smaller area of the hospital where it was quieter and things ran a little more smoothly. I was greeted by friendly nurses, given snacks and a little less annoyed. Thankfully no drains or parachute bra. Just big band aids and gauze. All this time, I thought of contacting the BandAid brand company to see if they needed a spokes person.

There is one thing I failed to mention throughout this whole blog, that is it was summertime when all this happened and thankfully it was summer. If it had been winter I'd really gone out of my mind.

The next plan was to get my gummy boobies as I was calling them in January of 09. At around Christmas time, I was at our office party when I looked up and saw my plastic surgeon's assistant on television on crutches. I thought that is not good. My surgeon was part of the team that worked on the lady who was mulled by a chimpanzee. Seeing his assistant on crutches meant that there could be a delay in me getting the implants later then sooner. It was then that I call from my doctor's indicated just that, we were looking at March.

The next few months I anxiously awaited the surgery but I was glad I did not have to visit the doctor and that I had a break for awhile. I was able to enjoy reuniting with old friends, Christmas time with my family and not worrying for a while about what was next. I was mentally and physically exhausted. It was nice to have a vacation from the Clinic.


Tomorrow: Gummy bear implants!

Meet Your Oncologist

There are many uncomfortable things in life one has to face, meeting an oncologist is one of them. An oncologist treats cancer, they know just about everything about the disease except what actually causes it. Meeting Dr. Halle was nerve racking yet comforting at the same time. The doctor began by telling me, that she was not going to recommend any chemo or radiation but would recommend a few other options. I had options? I was not sure to be excited or worried. One of the options was to get my female parts removed, go through radiation and take an experimental pill. Nope! The other was to get injections of a clinic trial medicine and go through radiation. Nope! I decided to go with tamoxifen, although I did not like what I read about it, I felt better knowing more about it when Dr. Halle explained it to me. I would take a pill a day, it would put my body in menopause(I was only 38 at the time), would give me leg cramps, loss of sex drive, make me bruise easily and lose weight. I figured the symptoms would pale in comparison to the benefits of taking the drug, fighting the cancer to never come back.

I will tell you that the side effects are not fun, but the fact that I can now fit into a size 6 jeans ROCKS! If only a company could market whatever in the pill that makes you lose weight, millions of woman would be buying it in case loads! The downside is the pill makes me sweat badly to the point where I had to get some heavy duty deodorant that I call 'Spackle'. Actually I use Secret Clinical or Dove Clinical. Both work, however, I don't like that it gets all over my clothes so washing becomes a challenge, lots of Spray-N-Wash! I also take Effexor for the which helps tremendously with the sweats and emotional anxiety which is normal to take when a person is diagnosed.

Now that I know what menopause is like, I sympathize with every woman who is going through it! I have my days when I am fatigued and my legs hurt. Unfortunately, because I live in Cleveland, Ohio we don't have sun all the time so I have to get my Vitamin D from other sources. I will tell you this, taking Leg Cramps with Quinine from GNC does help! So if you are taking tamoxifen, ask your doctor if you are able to take this, fortunately you only take it when the cramps happen.

Tomorrow: 'What's that sticking out?'