As I lay there all bandaged up in my heavily medicated state, I thought about how women have been defined by the breasts for centuries. I thought about all the women who have gone through this surgery and facing cancer. I then thought about all the women who have gone through this surgery for strictly cosmetic reasons and got pissed off. I sat listening to all the orderlies and nurses discuss what they did over the weekend including one nurse who swore that she would never touch tequila again. One orderly advised her she was probably drinking the cheap kind. As much I wanted to stick around and listen to more drinking stories, I attempted to wave down someone to find out when I was being moved to my room. Unfortunately, my arms were sore from being strapped down from the surgery, so I did my best impression of a mermaid that I could. Thank goodness I will not be trying out for any mermaid parts on Broadway, I would be paid to leave.
I was greeted by a happy yet firm nurse, who told me they were getting my room ready so it was going to be a few minutes. Translation: 'I have no fricking clue, why are you asking me, you'll probably be laying here for a few hours so shut up and close your eyes'. I nodded, that hurt...the nice part was my new parts didn't hurt so much, the rest of me did. I kept thinking I had to go to the bathroom, if someone could just let me go to the bathroom I'll be good and be quiet. Then I noticed I had a catheter. Still a bit groggy, catheter, I know that word, why couldn't I think of it, then it came to be and I became elated!!!! Not since I was in diapers could I just go, but this was better! No mess, no diaper rash, no powder! This was great, I felt so free!!!
What seemed to be a few hours, was probably an hour, I was finally wheeled into my room. Now what has always got me about hospital rooms is why the BRIGHT LIGHTS!!! We are trying to recover not be hauled in for questioning! I asked the nurse to turn the light off and turn on the one above the counter which was nicer and dimer. My husband came in with my bag, he told me he loved me very much and told me he was proud of me. I simply responded "give me my Burts". You see I love Burts Beeswax Lip Balm and it's all I use. So after 8 hours of surgery my lips were sandpaper. Once he gave me my Burts, I did tell him I loved him back and thanked him for standing by me. My mother, sister and friend came in, they were tired. I asked what time it was, apparently it was 6pm, I told them all to go home and rest. Because personally I wanted to sleep, even though I had already slept for 8 hours, I needed more.
Every two hours someone came in to check on me, one nurse gave me something to sleep, but it didn't seem to help. Then at one point the desk nurses were loud, I used my handy buzzer and asked them to close the door. I got a huff from the nurse but she did it anyway. I wanted to say, chop off your boobs lady let's see if you like hearing loud noises!!
Just as I was dozing off, suddenly the lights came on and 6 people walked in! I looked up to see 6 smiley interns, I wanted to punch them all! I decided to go with it and listened. The perky brunette explained that they were part of Dr. D.'s class and they wanted to see how I was doing. One intern fluffed my pillow and another offered to get me water. I decided not to punch those two, they were sweet. As for the others, I had no use. Thankfully they stayed for 5 minutes and left. I was so happy when the lights were out and I could sleep. Again, visitors every two hours so there was no resting. This one nurse told me, 'remember people come to hospitals to be fixed you go home to rest'. That being said, I decided I would not be sleeping for the rest of the night.
Tomorrow: MIA Husband and Nofie
No comments:
Post a Comment